Thursday, December 20, 2007

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,
I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my own doctor's, and sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground.I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmas', since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt, in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year, I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother", because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.

It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in to dry off so you don't catch cold.Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM
P.S. One more thing can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa!

I found this on a friends blog and thought it was pretty close to reality- here's where it came from:

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Christmas Card Drama

I don't think I have to tell anyone how difficult it can be to get your Christmas cards out. I'm pretty sure most of us stress over family pictures- coordinating outfits, finding the right day, not to mention getting everyone to sit still, smile and of course, no picking your nose. But when all is said and done, there's always the possibility that maybe you could end up pleasantly surprised. So here is the end result of our 2007 Christmas Card (and a few behind the scenes).

You might notice that it's not a family picture... much easier.

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Savor this moment

I've been waiting for an excuse to use this picture, but decided it was worth just putting up on it's own. Kyle HATES taking pictures. Family pictures are not welcome and individual shots are just pointless. So although he may be a bit bugged by me during this particular photo opt, he actually came across as the true hunk that I know and love...

Monday, December 3, 2007

What in the world??

I was busy on the computer this morning but could hear Maci getting into something in the bathroom. I walked into find this

The crazy thing is, I have NO IDEA what she got into! I sheepishly admit there may be somethings on my bathroom floor that don't belong there, but when I looked to see what it was that she had smeared all over her face, I found nothing. I guess we'll never know.